Sex and Violence!

File under: In theaters

Author: Aubrey

I (we!) hate Michael Bay. While sitting in Friday the 13th yesterday waiting for the feature to start, I saw my first trailer for Transformers Two or whatever that hot mess of steaming messy hotness is called. You know what, I don't even know if he directed this new one, because I don't want to taint my delicate psyche by imdb'ing it to find out. What I do know is that he needs to stick to ONLY! producing! remakes! of horror classics. I loved the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, and I loved the new F13th too. It's a horrible movie, and totally worth it (at matinee price only, doi.)

Obnoxiously gross kill scenes? Check.

Gratuitous sex scenes only rivaled by gratuitous liberties taken? Check.

Near constant pot references and irresponsible drinking? Check.

I don't even remember the last time I actually jumped during a scary movie, but yeah, so sue me. Check.

Topless wakeboarding? Ka-ching.

-Aub.