File under: Death to Oscar
Author: Aubrey
Sup Ell.
As you referenced, the two best moments last night were Hughie's singing "I haven't seen The Reader, I was going to see it later but I fell behind" (priceless, and in my case, true) and Philippe Petit balancing the statuette on his chin (what Roberto Benigni's acceptance spaz-attack a few years back should have been more like. Or wait. That shouldn't have been at all. But you know what I'm saying (also, as anyone reading this, by which I mean my two cousins and no one else, should know, I really like excessive and inappropriate use of commas, and also, ellipses (see), so just, get, used, to, it.)) I was admittedly wary of Jackman as host (um, hello? Tina Fey was in attendance, and was thus obviously available for the role) but I thought other than the painfully awful yet obligatory dance sequence, he was unexpectedly a'ight....but probably only because he was off-screen for the vast majority of the night. As mentioned above, since I haven't seen nor will probably ever see The Reader, Good Moment Numero Uno resonated with me, although I think it would have echoed more true if he had transferred that little bit to Frost/Nixon, the movie that no one, including the Academy members, saw. And as for Momento Bueno Number Two, hearing Man on Wire get called for Best Documentary (in my opinion should have been Best Picture) was the only moment that I leaped up and ya-bro-punched the air.
Where was Beyonce? People kept asking me today what I thought of Beyonce, so I can only assume it was so horrific and categorically injurious a sight to behold that I must have blocked it out. Wait. Beyonce is ho daddy?
Fashion: Turn to the left. Fashion: Turn to the right:
I think(?) I may have liked(?) Anne Hathaway's dress. The most surprising thing about that though, for me, was when I found out that it was Heath Ledger, and not she, who was being nominated for the role as Joker. Mind blowing.
Penelope Cruz looked super hot from the shoulders down, by which I mean that which was covered in her delicious wedding-cake of a dress. Man shoulders and a bowl cut do not a Ten make, however.
Tilda Swinton's slick back? Hawt. She can do no wrong, even when it is so, so wrong.
Freida Pinto's navy body doily? Naught. (Who is Freida Pinto you might be asking? Oh, well let me explain. She's one of the....well....ALL actors from Hoodcanine that didn't get nominated for anything. Chew on that.)(Her name reminds me of chips-n-dip, which makes me hungry, which makes me think of poverty, which makes me think of exportation and aestheticism, which make me think of this: http://www.slate.com/id/2209783/ I love this article, and you (our two readers) should too.)
Predictions for Oscars 2010:
If this year was any indication of the quality of films nominated, I'm going for a Push sweep, with the Jonas Bros 3-D Concert coming in a close second.
Also, why haven't we said anything about Meryl? Is there....gasp....horror!....nothing left to say?
-Aub...
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