File under: In theatresAuthor: Elliot
Question: What do you do with an outlandishly celebrated graphic novel which has been called unfilmable (by it's creator, no less) and has far too much self-important subtext to properly translate to film, least of all one single film? Well, if you're Zach Snyder, you don't really care, apparently. Let's not forget the inimitable director of don't-get-me-started-on-how-much-I-hated 300; with whom you're guaranteed an insurmountable number of pretty slow-motion shots which further self-actualize by erratically speeding up, unrealistic, if not laughable, sound effects, unnecessary emphasis on violence, flagrant racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. and out of context historical pandering....did I forget plot and character development? That's likely because Snyder did too.
My review of this film is easily summed up in one sentence, (but don't worry, single reader, I would never leave you with just one unless it was pages long): Political posturing and moral grandstanding, shot real purdy-like, all in order to masquerade a hollow story where even great character actors fall unremarkably flat. I suppose that's more of a fragment, but it'll suffice in the context of a review of Watchmen because the entire movie is made up of them. It would appear that Mr. Snyder was more perfunctorily interested in stuffing all of the various and fairly complicated (come on, it's a graphic novel) storylines and plot developments into one movie than creating something greater than the sum of its parts. The Silk Spectre(s) story could be a film in and of itself; a drunken mother who idolizes the man who brutalized her and would, subsequent to this event, become the father of her daughter who doesn't know of her paternal origins until after his death. But it's probably been done by better film makers.
Loosely, the story is based on conflicted and outlawed super heros circa 1985 who are insouciantly aware of an impending nuclear holocaust after the arms race seems to be taking a turn for the worst. A newly re-elected (for the third term after term limits are dropped) Richard Nixon has a symbolic and completely useless clock which determines nuclear threat levels, eerily similar to the color scheme used in contemporary American politics. These super heros are definitive anti-heros, fighting crime by means of pretty fighting or explosive telekinesis, but not exactly doing so for or at the behest of the population but more so for their own insular pathology. They're outlawed due to their own recklessness, bombs are coming, only one man (Dr. Manhattan) can save the planet from annihilation, yada yada, all culminating into a destruction unlike the world has ever seen, oh yeah, and disappointment. By the end of this nearly three hour joke one becomes just as ambivalent as the characters in the story.
The Rorschach character, played by the always-delightful unknown Jackie Earle Haley wasn't a terrible disappointment. Unforunately, though, his character had the Batman-esque grumble to it that becomes more of a distraction than an audible undergird to his character's depth of sociopathy. Every action movie has one line in it that is under no circumstances not going to come off as trite and remarkably camp, but he's able to pull it off with a crazed sincerity that downgrades it to tongue-in-cheek status, "I'm not locked up in here with you, you're locked up in here with me." He's violent as hell, and seems very much so only self-concerned.
Billy Crudup is a non-entity in this film as Dr. Manhattan, in every sense of the word. He's practically all animation except for a few requisite scenes explaining his nature and character, but as mentioned by other more apt reviewers, his voice is the most discernable of the cast, making him an appropriate choice for the part. Playing more of a spectre than anything, his disconcern with the fate of humanity under threat of nuclear war, and *spoiler* his complicity in allowing himself to be blamed for nuclear holocaust which kills 15 million + people seems transparent and forced instead of pathological nonchalance.
The Silk Spectre II character is an unfortunate incident with concern to the story she's supposed to carry. I can't say that it's necessarily due to incompetent acting ability on the part of Malin Akerman considering the script she was given. She leaves Crudup's Dr. Manhattan due to lack of interest on his part, goes to Patrick Wilson's cartoonishly bad Night Owl with very little discernable convalescence and eventually makes a desperate attempt at character development within the last fifteen minutes of an already overwrought two-hundred and forty five, give or take. Don't get me wrong, though, I am a complete sucker for a woman kicking some serious ass, as she does near seamlessly in spiked heels.
A few suggestions: cut the running time nearly in half by not doing so many slow-mo/fast-mo shots, it's unnecessary and replete with cinematic hubris. What was the deal with the Nixon character? What? Frank Langella wasn't available? He was practically a guy in a novelty Nixon mask with an even more accentuated nose. Cut the faux politics out of it. And was it really necessary to play every song for the movie in each's respective entirety?
Now I'm not trying to be quite as harsh about Mr. Snyder as this is coming off. He certainly has his place amongst the action-y and popcorn movie directors, I'd just lump him more in the Ratners' group rather than the Singers' or Del Toros'. Can't wait for whatever crapfest he puts out next so that I can shell out another $10 just to make myself feel better by writing about it here.
Did this review help? Yes or No (Circle one)
Aubrey, what are you hearing about this? Have you any intentions of becoming a watcher of the Watchmen yourself?
-Elliot P to the Patton.
Question: What do you do with an outlandishly celebrated graphic novel which has been called unfilmable (by it's creator, no less) and has far too much self-important subtext to properly translate to film, least of all one single film? Well, if you're Zach Snyder, you don't really care, apparently. Let's not forget the inimitable director of don't-get-me-started-on-how-much-I-hated 300; with whom you're guaranteed an insurmountable number of pretty slow-motion shots which further self-actualize by erratically speeding up, unrealistic, if not laughable, sound effects, unnecessary emphasis on violence, flagrant racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. and out of context historical pandering....did I forget plot and character development? That's likely because Snyder did too.
My review of this film is easily summed up in one sentence, (but don't worry, single reader, I would never leave you with just one unless it was pages long): Political posturing and moral grandstanding, shot real purdy-like, all in order to masquerade a hollow story where even great character actors fall unremarkably flat. I suppose that's more of a fragment, but it'll suffice in the context of a review of Watchmen because the entire movie is made up of them. It would appear that Mr. Snyder was more perfunctorily interested in stuffing all of the various and fairly complicated (come on, it's a graphic novel) storylines and plot developments into one movie than creating something greater than the sum of its parts. The Silk Spectre(s) story could be a film in and of itself; a drunken mother who idolizes the man who brutalized her and would, subsequent to this event, become the father of her daughter who doesn't know of her paternal origins until after his death. But it's probably been done by better film makers.
Loosely, the story is based on conflicted and outlawed super heros circa 1985 who are insouciantly aware of an impending nuclear holocaust after the arms race seems to be taking a turn for the worst. A newly re-elected (for the third term after term limits are dropped) Richard Nixon has a symbolic and completely useless clock which determines nuclear threat levels, eerily similar to the color scheme used in contemporary American politics. These super heros are definitive anti-heros, fighting crime by means of pretty fighting or explosive telekinesis, but not exactly doing so for or at the behest of the population but more so for their own insular pathology. They're outlawed due to their own recklessness, bombs are coming, only one man (Dr. Manhattan) can save the planet from annihilation, yada yada, all culminating into a destruction unlike the world has ever seen, oh yeah, and disappointment. By the end of this nearly three hour joke one becomes just as ambivalent as the characters in the story.
The Rorschach character, played by the always-delightful unknown Jackie Earle Haley wasn't a terrible disappointment. Unforunately, though, his character had the Batman-esque grumble to it that becomes more of a distraction than an audible undergird to his character's depth of sociopathy. Every action movie has one line in it that is under no circumstances not going to come off as trite and remarkably camp, but he's able to pull it off with a crazed sincerity that downgrades it to tongue-in-cheek status, "I'm not locked up in here with you, you're locked up in here with me." He's violent as hell, and seems very much so only self-concerned.
Billy Crudup is a non-entity in this film as Dr. Manhattan, in every sense of the word. He's practically all animation except for a few requisite scenes explaining his nature and character, but as mentioned by other more apt reviewers, his voice is the most discernable of the cast, making him an appropriate choice for the part. Playing more of a spectre than anything, his disconcern with the fate of humanity under threat of nuclear war, and *spoiler* his complicity in allowing himself to be blamed for nuclear holocaust which kills 15 million + people seems transparent and forced instead of pathological nonchalance.
The Silk Spectre II character is an unfortunate incident with concern to the story she's supposed to carry. I can't say that it's necessarily due to incompetent acting ability on the part of Malin Akerman considering the script she was given. She leaves Crudup's Dr. Manhattan due to lack of interest on his part, goes to Patrick Wilson's cartoonishly bad Night Owl with very little discernable convalescence and eventually makes a desperate attempt at character development within the last fifteen minutes of an already overwrought two-hundred and forty five, give or take. Don't get me wrong, though, I am a complete sucker for a woman kicking some serious ass, as she does near seamlessly in spiked heels.
A few suggestions: cut the running time nearly in half by not doing so many slow-mo/fast-mo shots, it's unnecessary and replete with cinematic hubris. What was the deal with the Nixon character? What? Frank Langella wasn't available? He was practically a guy in a novelty Nixon mask with an even more accentuated nose. Cut the faux politics out of it. And was it really necessary to play every song for the movie in each's respective entirety?
Now I'm not trying to be quite as harsh about Mr. Snyder as this is coming off. He certainly has his place amongst the action-y and popcorn movie directors, I'd just lump him more in the Ratners' group rather than the Singers' or Del Toros'. Can't wait for whatever crapfest he puts out next so that I can shell out another $10 just to make myself feel better by writing about it here.
Did this review help? Yes or No (Circle one)
Aubrey, what are you hearing about this? Have you any intentions of becoming a watcher of the Watchmen yourself?
-Elliot P to the Patton.
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